Pierced Lady

Regularly seen cruising down Nicolson Street, the Guiness World Record's most pierced woman of all time, Elaine Davidson of Brazil, nonchalantly goes about her shopping - bringing an level of colour and vibrancy matched only by the bingo halls, amusement arcades and pixelated jpegs of frozen sausage offers outside Farmfoods.

She apparently can't return to Brazil without a mask as she's likely to get robbed, though the process of stealing all her jewellery would probably take a long long time. In Edinburgh you'd scarely be able to guess the level of media attention she recieves as the patron saint of body modification, given that nobody makes a scene or attempts to control her movements with magnets and such - yet she's a global sensation that pushes the boundaries of how much metal you can physically fit on the surface area of your skin.

She must be incredibly strong, in both the physical sense and in terms of willpower - as I'd imagine she has to deal with all manner of smart-asses asking the same question - how much of that metal is on her fanjita? Those people should just learn to keep those lewd questions to themselves, or just learn to use the internet (it's apparently 500: http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/11/13/1068674283575.html?from=storyrhs) - respect.